change can feel like beginning to date after you end a long marriage.
you're surfing this website, you probably realize you need time
to find your romantic partner and you probably can't just hire
seasoned professionals expect career services to match them with
their soul-satisfying work within a few hours. These tips come
from my ebook,
the comfort zone
you are undergoing a career change, you step out of your comfort
zone. By definition, a comfort zone iswell, comfortable. Once
you felt in control of a high-powered career. Now you have neither
control nor career. It's frustrating and scary.
When you break up a relationship, you also step outside a comfort
zone.The more you had, the more you feel you have lost. You wonder
if you will find another partner. Dating is scary and frustrating,
and you don't know the rules, especially if you haven't done
Most modern professionals wouldn't dream of consulting a matchmaker
to find a new mate. They wouldn't expect to get a list of their
five ideal mates, chosen from a few thousand possibiliteis. They
realize they need time for grief and self-discovery.
Faced with a career change, the same people head for counselors,
seeking instant answers and easy fixes.
"I want to know that I've made the right decision,"
people tell me. "And I want to get answers now."
Sophisticates who scoff at match-making eagerly sign up for aptitude
tests. I can't speak for match-making, but every day I talk to
people who are frustrated with the results of their expensive
If you're an adult with significant work experience, these tests
typically show you are very well suited to your own occupation.
That's like saying your soulmate will strongly resemble the spouse
you just left.
your new career
And, the second time around, you probably don't seek a mate with
"cute looks, great dancer, gets the juices flowing."
A divorced friend evaluates potential mates on "likelihood
of taking out garbage" and "coexistence with my cat."
When successful people contemplate career transition, they soon
realize they don't care about whether a career will "use
my math skills" or "let me work with fashion."
They talk about autonomy, travel, and life purpose -- and they
realize they have to co-create these qualities in their chosen
Most people reach career goals the way they meet their soulmates:
they're open to meeting people, they're having fun, and they're
not desperate. Rarely, outside fiction, does someone say, "I
need to get married in three months," and achieve a long-lasting,
worth the wait..."
People who have learned not to be afraid of solitude can wait
for marriage, and people who can handle the displacement of transition
will probably find their soul-satisfying career.
Second marriages often are built on a more solid platform than
first marriages, and second careers can create lives that are
far more meaningful than their predecessors. Yes, it takes time,
but it's worth the wait.
Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D.
Author, Career Consultant, Speaker
*Fast Track to Career Freedom*