Index page
1. Glossary
2. Personal Enthropy
3. Fears and Conflicts
4. More Inner Conflicts
5. Closet Rebel
6. Observations
7. States of Mind
8. Watching my Feelings
9. Past and Future
10. Automatic Thoughts
11. Self and Others
12. Manipulation
13. World as a Game
14. Inanimate Objects
15. Surfing Scientology
16. 90% Power Solution
16. Feeling Resourceful
17. Intent vs Manifestation
18. A Matter of Trust
19. Levels of Evil
20. The Dark Side
21. Tao of Biking
22. Lose-Lose => Win-Win
23. Approval
24. Conversation is Over
25. Annoyance
26. How the Mind Works
27. Empathy - friend or foe?
28. Life is Actually Perfect
29. Compassion, Structure, Inner Judge
30. "I am kind", Feeling Love
31. Procrastination, slowing down
All The Rest
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Tuesday 04/08/97
Why is a stranger more likely to greet someone who is smiling?
Could be because of safety - return greeting is more likely.

Wednesday 04/09/97
Procrastinating could be a way to fight worry - ignore task till
the last moment and then throw all your energy into it. Then the deadline will
pass and you can forget about it.
If task is resolved early, there is time left to worry: "Did I do it right? What
if I forgot something? How will others react to it?" - waste of energy.

Thursday 04/10/97
Person doesn't become less good by suppressing the expression
of goodness. Potential is still there, ready to manifest.
Reason for suppression is Pain&P leasure- seems like more pain to open to
it then to ignore it.
*
Casual conversation - a lot of gossips around - so meaningless subjects are the
only safe ones, hence smalltalk.
As a result, loneliness - nobody talks about things dear to them.
*
Energy - could be a unfocused light, but could also be a laser which can pass
thru anything.

Friday 04/11/97
About "learn to say 'NO'" - make a distinction who is merely trying to make
money and those who sincerely offer to so something together.
Saying NO to the first category is the right thing to do and I learned that.
Second category is more complex to deal with.

Monday 04/14/97
Thought opposite to "I wish this would end already" -
"i can have fun, no matter what i do!"
*
Doing something in face of fear may help when
fear grows as I remain inactive.
*
When CPU overheats, it does unexpected things.
Person when he gets anrgy, can do too.
CPU needs fan to cool it off.
Analogy - what can person have for cooling ?

New computers need fans now, more speed => more heat.
World is becoming faster => more heat (stress) -
to stay cool I need to find how to use 'fan'.
Alternative is to downgrade (like move back to slow life,
away from the goods of civilization).
as weight reqs ?

Tuesday 04/15/97
When I feel down, there is a built-in indirect command - to keep feeling bad.
Perhaps this is the reason it's hard to look someone in the eyes when feeling
bad? Official reason is: "I don't know how to maintain eye contact, it could
make things worse".
But maybe this is just an excuse? Staying isolated from anything that may break
my negative state?

Affirmation:
"I want (and I must be!) in a good mood!"
(tried - it worked!)
*
If you want people to follow your way, make it easy and pleasant for
them.

I expand the range of my interestes and influence by sharing.
Perhaps this could be first step to understanding the relatonship between giving
and receiving?
*
What is the goal of criticism?
1. Bring them down, so they stop?
2. Change them to match my taste?
3. Encourage them so they go on?

For me it's something in the middle between 2 and 3.
*
It's allergy season, today I am sneezing but not going to the car to grab my
medicine. Maybe I like it that obvious physical challenge distracts me from
mental worry?