Index page
1. Glossary
2. Personal Enthropy
3. Fears and Conflicts
4. More Inner Conflicts
5. Closet Rebel
6. Observations
7. States of Mind
8. Watching my Feelings
9. Past and Future
10. Automatic Thoughts
11. Self and Others
12. Manipulation
13. World as a Game
14. Inanimate Objects
15. Surfing Scientology
16. 90% Power Solution
16. Feeling Resourceful
17. Intent vs Manifestation
18. A Matter of Trust
19. Levels of Evil
20. The Dark Side
21. Tao of Biking
22. Lose-Lose => Win-Win
23. Approval
24. Conversation is Over
25. Annoyance
26. How the Mind Works
27. Empathy - friend or foe?
28. Life is Actually Perfect
29. Compassion, Structure, Inner Judge
30. "I am kind", Feeling Love
31. Procrastination, slowing down
All The Rest
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Monday 10/14/96
Someone used a nifty phrase to manipulate me into learning a
certain skill:
"Too many people in a world know how to do this, for you not to".
I answered that I don't care whether others know how to do it.
I lied, of course. Comparing myself to others is still strong in me and
this argument has added oil to the fire.
Right after commitment is made, there is exhilirating feeling.
Feeling sure and confident that this is right thing to do.
Let's see how long it lasts.

Wednesday 10/16/96
Sign of a creative state while coding - playing keyboard
like a piano, enjoying the typign greatly. Thougths fly even
faster than fingers.
The very fact of interaction with computer is joyful.
There is speed, but no rush.
Feel like a master of the computer kingdom.

Thursday 10/17/96
Example of how past gets reinterpreted, thru the example of
Java programming language.
1) I don't see what's the possible use for it could be.
2) I postpone learning.
3) Looking back, I think that I haven't learned because it was
too hard.
4) I think less of my programming ability.
In a good state, I am a lot more persistent -
willing to try more things, I even get motivated by the fact
that the goal is not reached yet.
I often reject ideas, simply because they are not mine.
Sometimes I accept them, but still feel unhappy that I am
not the one who came up with them.
Yuri says: "All the ides are mine".
This a good way to look it, Universal Consciousness.
When I am ready to perceive an idea, it will come to me.