Monday 10/14/96
Someone used a nifty phrase to manipulate me into learning a
certain skill:
"Too many people in a world know how to do this, for you not to".
I answered that I don't care whether others know how to do it.
I lied, of course. Comparing myself to others is still strong in me and
this argument has added oil to the fire.
*
Right after commitment is made, there is exhilirating feeling.
Feeling sure and confident that this is right thing to do.
Let's see how long it lasts.

Wednesday 10/16/96
Sign of a creative state while coding - playing keyboard
like a piano, enjoying the typign greatly. Thougths fly even
faster than fingers.
The very fact of interaction with computer is joyful.
There is speed, but no rush.
Feel like a master of the computer kingdom.

Thursday 10/17/96
Example of how past gets reinterpreted, thru the example of
Java programming language.
1) I don't see what's the possible use for it could be.
2) I postpone learning.
3) Looking back, I think that I haven't learned because it was
too hard.
4) I think less of my programming ability.
*
In a good state, I am a lot more persistent -
willing to try more things, I even get motivated by the fact
that the goal is not reached yet.
*
I often reject ideas, simply because they are not mine.
Sometimes I accept them, but still feel unhappy that I am
not the one who came up with them.
Yuri says: "All the ides are mine".
This a good way to look it, Universal Consciousness.
When I am ready to perceive an idea, it will come to me.