Index page
1. Glossary
2. Personal Enthropy
3. Fears and Conflicts
4. More Inner Conflicts
5. Closet Rebel
6. Observations
7. States of Mind
8. Watching my Feelings
9. Past and Future
10. Automatic Thoughts
11. Self and Others
12. Manipulation
13. World as a Game
14. Inanimate Objects
15. Surfing Scientology
16. 90% Power Solution
16. Feeling Resourceful
17. Intent vs Manifestation
18. A Matter of Trust
19. Levels of Evil
20. The Dark Side
21. Tao of Biking
22. Lose-Lose => Win-Win
23. Approval
24. Conversation is Over
25. Annoyance
26. How the Mind Works
27. Empathy - friend or foe?
28. Life is Actually Perfect
29. Compassion, Structure, Inner Judge
30. "I am kind", Feeling Love
31. Procrastination, slowing down
All The Rest
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Monday 12/09/96
Stalin is an ultimate example of desire for everybody's approval.
When this goal is achieved, he found out there there's no
real friends left and nobody to trust.

Wednesday 12/11/96
In a dream, when a confrontation occurs, my weakness may
look so convincing, as if it's actually based on a physical
law - but it isn't!
Mockery is a defence against supernatural.
And damned good defence at that.
Example how the meanings of Pain & Pleasure are mixed up in
society: those who kill for money (soldiers) are considered
heroes and those who give pleasure for money (prostitutes)
are outcasts.

Thursday 12/12/96
When a task is beginning to get boring, does it make sense
to drop it right away? So I don't get the "this occupation
is boring" imprinted in my memory?
Some Douglas Adams quotes:
"Wail, wail, screech, wail, howl, honk, squeak went the  bagpipes,
increasing	the  Captain's  already  considerable pleasure at the
thought that any moment now they might stop. That  was	something
he looked forward to as well."

"An SEP, is something that we can't see, or don't see,
or	our  brain	doesn't  let  us  see, because we think that it's
somebody else's problem. That's what SEP means.  Somebody  Else's
Problem.  The brain just edits it out, it's like a blind spot. If
you look at  it  directly  you	won't  see  it  unless  you  know
precisely  what  it is. Your only hope is to catch it by surprise
out of the corner of your eye."

"The Somebody Else's  Problem  field  is  much  simpler  and  more
effective, and what's more can be run for over a hundred years on
a single watch battery. This is because  it  relies  on  people's
natural  disposition  not  to  see	anything  they don't want to,
weren't expecting, or can't explain."

Monday 12/16/96
"Just look at yourself!" could actually mean "Look for
solution inside yourself".

Tuesday 12/17/96
I feel shyness when I catch myself enjoying kids music or
classical music.
If nothing else, they both remind me of my childhood. And
the memories are positive.
Speaking of metaphusics - twice in a row I forgot to set my
alarm cllock. Yesterday, i woke up myself 10 minutes before
I had to get up. Today, telemarketers called me at exact
same time.

Thursday 12/19/96
Improving - is high on my list of values.
Automatically entering same stuff day after day is
unbearable for me, I have to simlify and enhance the
Conflict - if I don't make a plan, I tend to jump ahead.
If I do have a plan, I may get overwhelmed, because there's
so far till the end.
Any chance that mechanical data entry is akin to any other
routine task? That is, may it lead to meditative state and
unorthodox thoughts?
Knowledge that the current step is just as interesting as
the next one seems to help against feeling rushed somewhat.
It's important to move forward, as opposed to resting on
ones' laurels.
No amount of former achievements will guarantee eternal
There's no such love, that could give desire to do chores
for the rest of my life.
I can do them willingly and creatively as long as there's
support and motivation. Once they are gone, they become like
a leash.
I can't control, what things other people may find funny.
Remember a character from "Good Morning Vietnam", who tried
so hard to convince others: "This is not funny!".