Index page
1. Glossary
2. Personal Enthropy
3. Fears and Conflicts
4. More Inner Conflicts
5. Closet Rebel
6. Observations
7. States of Mind
8. Watching my Feelings
9. Past and Future
10. Automatic Thoughts
11. Self and Others
12. Manipulation
13. World as a Game
14. Inanimate Objects
15. Surfing Scientology
16. 90% Power Solution
16. Feeling Resourceful
17. Intent vs Manifestation
18. A Matter of Trust
19. Levels of Evil
20. The Dark Side
21. Tao of Biking
22. Lose-Lose => Win-Win
23. Approval
24. Conversation is Over
25. Annoyance
26. How the Mind Works
27. Empathy - friend or foe?
28. Life is Actually Perfect
29. Compassion, Structure, Inner Judge
30. "I am kind", Feeling Love
31. Procrastination, slowing down
All The Rest
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Tuesday 07/09/96
Two sides of the coin: just like I cannot demand gratitude from
others when I give him something; the same way, others cannot
force me to enjoy what they brought to me.
Fear of joking shows with people, where I don't know their
attitudes on the subject.
Example - joke about Jesus that I heard in the Center - funny, but
I am not sure if should put it on a web page.
I feel good when I realize I can now myself do something that I used to
depend on others for.
Conflict - taking care of my own stuff and being too attached to things.
Guaranteed way to lose control - see everything as if it's matter of
life or death.
Fear "boss will ask me what I am doing" goes away when I am certain
that I am doing what I should.
Or what I shouldn't.
As long as I am not procrastinating.

Friday 07/12/96
Possible problem with the "do you need help?" method -
offering help when I am not really capable of helping.
When I don't feel good, I need to work on improving my
state - not try solving other's problems.
Low self-esteem is a bummer not only for me, but also
for those who surround me.
I get really defensive and snap back.
Observation - when in unresourceful state, I jump to other task before
even getting to the middle of 1st. This is different from resourceful
state when I am really open to possibilities.
Not believing in my ability to find solution throws me right back into

Monday 07/15/96
Self-Esteem (SE) is directly linked to ability to give (am I guoting Dyer?) -
if I don't like myself, what value is my giving ?
Observation: SE drops when something unexplained happens in
my area of expertise.
Unresourceful state - came up with something to do - for example
sorting out jokes to put on web site. Guilt comes in: "What, read jokes
at work ?", as well as low SE "So, who's gonna read your site anyway?"
Old belief - not only me, but also those around me must have no
problems - only then can I feel good.